Monday, August 31, 2009
We take our little ones on their annual field trip up to this area. Our little ones only know the city and they get such a kick from seeing the forest and apple tree orchards. They see horses and cows. They see blue sky that stretches on for miles. It's a beautiful area. We sign them up for a tour of an apple farm that includes a hay ride, a Little House on the Prairie authentic house and story, petting zoo, and the making of real apple cider with an apple cider press. Then they get to enjoy a caramel apple and the apple cider they pressed. It is such an adventure for them. Our tour guides are dressed in the attire of Laura Ingalls. It is literally like a living museum. I take lots of pictures and thoroughly enjoy the day with them.
Well, as of 4:00 or so, the fire was on the other side of the highway. I sincerely hope they can save it. So - so sad.
I heard on the news that it is more than likely arson. Crazy person.
God bless our firemen. They are brave.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Everytime I talk to my mom on the phone, my heart breaks. I don't know. I have deep feelings of sadness followed by anger. I don't understand and don't want her to go through anymore pain. I don't think I'm angry at God directly. I'm just angry at the situation.
My mom grew up in Mexico, first in a little rancho outside of Huamantla and then moved to Mexico City with her mama. She often went with her mama to clean houses attending school very little. She left Mexico City at the age of 13 - marrying my dad soon after. My mama had 11 children in all. She has since lost two little ones, my little brother who died as an infant and my little sister who died when she was 2 1/2 years old. She then lost my dad about 15 years ago and now my sister. Why????
We cry together, her and I. We miss her deeply. Everytime I hang up the phone, I cry for my mama and for me . . . and for my sister. I loved her so.
Children, love your parents (we do the best we can), love your brothers and sisters because we never know when they may be called home. I never thought we could lose her - never.
We were going to make it one more time.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Called my mom today, also, and she sounded more happy than I've heard her in a long while. She spend the night in her new townhouse with my little brother and she slept through the night. She said that she is so comfortable there. Oh my gosh. God blesses us so. Little steps...
Thank you for your prayers and good thoughts.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Sometimes, though, I feel like I'm only going through the motions. My heart is not in my work right now. I asked a dear friend of mine how long does it take for us to feel happy again. She had lost her brother about five years ago. She said it takes a long time -- too long. I don't know how my mom makes it. She is sad so much of the time. It took a long time for me to feel happy after my dad passed away. I can now think of my dad, yes-with a little sadness still, but more with a smile of the memories we had with him. But again, I can't fathom how long this sadness will last.
My honey is home this weekend (he is working away) and I was so happy to see him. He makes my life wonderful and I can actually feel like I'll be ok. Tears are always on the verge - a song, a thought, a phone ringing, a memory - many memories.
It's the weekend -- time to regenerate.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Two months ago today, my sister passed away. I was very sad all day. But I am so blessed to have many good friends who offer a hug just to hug, a smile and "how are you?" Or just a wave across campus. Good, good friends.
I thought about Pismo Beach and Cambria and how nice it was to be there. Absolutely loved it. We really need to go again-stay a little longer. My honey told me that Hearst Castle is not too far. I think next time we will plan to go there before we get too old :). I heard there is lots of walking involved. A cool place to see.
We are blessed.
I miss you, sister.