Prayer

Growing up we don't think about illnesses that may someday take our lives. We know that we are born and that we die. We come into this world with nothing material and we leave it in the same way. What is the purpose?

Oh, I can give so many. Can you imagine everything we are able to experience each and every single day? Let's see, my earliest memory of my sister and I . . . eating "atole" on the steps of the labor camp in Indio. I was four and my sister was five. She always took care of me. When she came to college, she waited for me to come with her. We had so much fun in college -- the dances, the parties, the friends . . . and meeting my husband. She loved him from the beginning and for this I am thankful to her.

She has lovingly taken care of my parents all these years taking them to Mexico countless times, to Idaho, to Washington, and northern California. All these years. . . I never had to worry because she did that for us.

And now when I see her, my heart breaks. She is still my sister trying to be in control and we let her. God bless her.

We experience so much every day, a hug, a smile, an acknowlegement -- our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters, our jobs, our friends -- the sun rise, the breeze. Yes, there is a purpose. God loves us so much.

I continue to pray for a miracle.

Happy Easter

Everything is in bloom up in the high desert. Wildflowers are everywhere. Fruit trees are also in bloom. I borrowed by sister's camera because I wanted to always remember the beauty of this day.

I really liked these beautiful pink flowers. My mom told me that this was a fruit tree, but I don't remember what kind it was. I just liked the flowers :-).

These are actually little white flowers growing close to the desert floor. They looked like snow, but upon close inspection they were tiny little white flowers.

As I walked around their land, I noticed my sister coming out to sit in the sun on their little porch. I quickly walked over to her as I watched her sit down carefully on a lawn chair. My heart breaks. We talked about the flowers and the mulberry trees. She talked about wanting to ask my little brother to hang streamers on the mulberry trees so the birds won't eat the berries. She talked about a favorite wind chime of my mom's. I told her I was glad she was coming out to get sun . . . Mostly I listened.

She is weak.

This week, I am at a training for work. Yesterday, I was a bit tired and felt out of sorts. I didn't want to be at that training, but in order to be in compliance at work, I have to go. We all do. So I was feeling a little disgruntled. Once I was home, I began to think about my sister and how she would feel so happy to be able to work -again. I shook off the bad feelings about the training and went in today with a new attitude. It was a good day. I can honestly say that I did enjoy it. I paid attention, read the materials, and shared quite a bit with my "elbow partner" who turns out to be an old friend from many years back.

I came home, my husband soon after. He came over to me and kissed me. I am so blessed.

I called my sister to see how she was. She said she is feeling better. I want to hug her and hold her. I love her so much. And now I share the pictures of her flowers with you.

Time. . .

It's time to go back to work. I feel sad. I'm happy to know that I will be seeing my little ones, but at the same time I'm sad because I won't be seeing my sister as often as I would like. This last month has had its ups and downs as far as her health goes. There are days when we are so excited of her progress and then there are the days when we worry for her well being. Those days seem to be increasing. And now I have to go back to work.

I miss the days of yesteryear when she was well. I miss taking little day trips with both her and my mom to do shopping or having lunch. I remember once we went all the way to Olvera Street just for a plate of shrimp in a chili sauce "camarones a la diabla" (I think that's what they're called :-). I miss her phone calls just to call. Sisters are precious.