Monday, June 29, 2009


Time is scattered, but family and friends are a constant. God bless you all.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Life continues . . .

Today we went to eat at Red Lobster in Ontario as a celebration of my mama's birthday. It was nice, yet sad. My sister always took my mama to eat there for their birthdays. I thought it was appropriate and nice that we continue the tradition. My mama was happy for the suggestion, but I know she was sad, too. Along with my husband and I, my children were there, my nephew, his wife and son were there and so was my brother. We had a nice time. We laughed, we talked, we reminiced. And the food was good.

I guess life goes on although sometimes it is very difficult to fathom the vastness of the emptiness we feel without her. I know I dream her, but I can't remember exactly what the next day, but we're always happy in my dreams.

Our son graduated - we were so happy for him. It was a difficult time for him also. He loved her so. We had a little party for him since this is what my sister wanted and ask us to do. We did. Sweet, wonderful friends of ours provided the music. Their band is really great. I love listening to them. Soothing, calm, funny, dance-able music. Oh, I thanked them so much. God bless them. My sister loved them, too. She would have enjoyed them also -- maybe she did :).

What else can I do to get past this time - except for what I am doing now. Grieving seems like a forever process. I miss her so much.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


I don't think I will blog anymore. Writing thoughts has become too sad. I think after Thursday, I'll read a book, go on a weekend trip, visit with friends, see my son graduate, see my little ones for one more week and then send them on to 2nd grade. Maybe I'll just sleep. Maybe I'll go have pancakes at Denny's :). Maybe . . .

I'll hug my family and my mama.

Then I'll go on.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

To Say Goodbye . . .

My sister passed away this last week, but I have a hard time remembering what day it was. All the days seem to mesh into one and I'm so tired. I miss her. I wish she was here. I walk into her home and I think she will be there. I walk into her bedroom and I expect to see her there, laying down. I'll cover her and she'll be warm. I'll see her smile and we will all be ok.
Thursday will be her memorial, a celebration of her life. We need this day as a closure to be able to go on. A way of saying good-bye and see you soon.
She was our strong one, the one we all ran to, the one with the answers, the one who kept the family together. We are so sad without her.
I have to remember she's with our good Lord now and no longer suffering. This is my comfort. . . . But I am so sad.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My Sister

My sister passed away today. I will truly miss her laughter, her conversations, her way of being.

She is free of all pain. My hope is that my Dad was there to help her cross over into heaven. We grieve with great sadness because we miss her.

We needed to let her go. She had suffered for so long and needed to rest.

. . . I love you, sister, and I always will . . .

Music of the Heart

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