Monday, July 25, 2011

Goodbye My Little Blog...

I have been thinking about my blog and the many thoughts that have gone into writing of this blog. After much thought I think I need to put it to rest. My life has gone through many transformations since I began to write in this "journal." I began to write as a way to express, "vent," and converse, if only to myself. I feel like I have "cardboard boxes filled with papers of nostalgia and these boxes are covered in dust." My heart felt burdened and heavy every time I opened my blog not knowing why I felt this way. It was no longer a joyous thing for me to do. I realized that a big majority (2 years, maybe more) of my blog was filled with the sadness of my sister's illness and death. She has been gone now for two years and in this last month I went home for her, for me. Perhaps a way to say good-bye, I don't know for sure. I missed her terribly not being there with us although I felt her in spirit. Sometimes when I open my blog I jump back to read what I wrote during her illness and it makes me very sad. I begin to question what more could I have done, how did we not see the signs, why she died so young. Then I cry. I can't do this anymore, I want to be truly happy again. "Sister, I will never forget you, I will always love you and miss you."

Thank you my little blog ~ you've been good for me. Now it's time for me to move on.

For all my loyal readers I may possibly start a new blog under a different title, but I will let you know. Thinking about it :).

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