Summer . . .

The end of my summer break is near. Soon I'll be back at it, teaching little ones, correctiing their papers, entering scores etc. etc. etc. It's been quite a month. Some months when I'm off track, I do very little because I'm not feeling well, but this month I have learned to eat better (no meat :-), no soda, very little chocolate. People (family) keep telling me to stop drinking coffee, but that's not the problem. Coffee to me is the ultimate pleasure when it comes to food or drink. I have been drinking coffee since I was maybe 15 or 16 years old, or younger. I have always enjoyed it con un pedazito de pan. My favorite is Folgers Columbian with cream and a little bit of sugar. Oh, I also enjoy a cup of Mocha Latte with whipped cream from Starbucks or Border's Seattle Coffee -- Ummmm .... the BEST! In my life time, I only stopped drinking coffee when I was pregnant with my kids and that was sooooo hard, but necessary.

I remember once, when our coffee maker broke, I told my husband that I would quit cold turkey. First day, ok. Second day -- a bit grouchy and head aches. Third day -- my husband told our oldest son "Son, go down to the AM/PM and get your mom a cup of coffee -- I LOVED HIM! Then we went a bought a new coffee maker. Ha!

Anyway, to another topic. As I was saying, summer break is almost over. Our youngest will be a junior this year. He got his Learner's Permit for driving. He's growing up.

Sometimes when I am somewhere waiting for something whether it be at a stop light or waiting at a store or doctor's office, I see parents with little ones, talkative little ones, excited little ones and I feel sad. I start to remember my kids when they were at that age. Have you seen that commercial where the little girl is talking and talking and the dad is trying to close the door and he runs around to the driver's side and she's still talking? That was our daughter. We loved to hear her chatter. She always had so much to say. Took after her Dad. :-) Then our first son, he was always so quiet and serious. One day when we were going to school and he was sitting in the back seat he said "Mom, why didn't you name me Bill Lopez or Nino Cosby? I turned around to see if he was laughing and he sat there with the most serious face, I knew he was joking and I started to laugh -- then we both laughed. Then there is my youngest, he was a blend of my two oldest -- quiet and talkative. I enjoy our conversations in the morning on our way to school. I enjoy his help in the kitchen. He's no longer a child, but a young adult. He's talking college and future. I foresee that with God's blessings he will soon be on his way, too and then we will be alone without kids. All I wanted to be in life was a mother. This is what makes me sad . . . But maybe I can think positive and be happy that they are all successful in their lives and now I can learn to just be who I am and enjoy spending time with them when I see them. Long and drawn out, I know, but this was my month -- a contemplation of memories, thoughts for the future, thoughts of who I am becoming, thoughts of better health and a strive to meet that goal, thoughts about thoughts. God bless ALL my kids.

Que te puedo decir?

In reading my daughter's and son-in-law's blogs, I, too, will contribute to the when and wheres of speaking in our language.

I am first generation American. My parents are from Mexico, but now citizens of the United States. I grew up speaking, reading and writing in Spanish. Our parents did talk to us in Spanish and I have always respected this language.

When I was young, we attended a school in a small rural community in southern Idaho. We were there because we were migrant farm workers. My dad and mom decided we would no longer migrate because we needed to go to school. All the "compadres" decided the same, therefore, we lived all together in another small community about 20 miles from this school. I loved school. I remembered the first year I was there. I sat in a classroom that was predominantly white. My teacher's name was Mrs. Nutting. She had short curly permed hair and wore glasses and she was nice. At the beginning I used to listen to her talk not knowing what she was saying. Teachers read from the Bible every morning right after the Pledge of Allegiance. Recess was a form of a life- saver because we (our friends) were able to converse in Spanish until a teacher would walk by us and say "Speak English!!" We would grow quiet. Once they were far enough away, we returned to our Spanish.

My dad had us older children read in Spanish and write to our cousins in Mexico in Spanish. Movies for us were at a Mexican theater in Paul, Idaho. I loved going there because all the "compadres" kids were there, too. We'd run and sit way in the front with our popcorn and soda. Watched a lot of good movies there. The only English-speaking movie I saw when I was a kid was "The Three Stooges in Outer Space." It was so funny!

I tried very hard to hold on to my language. My parents slowly began using more and more English to communicate with the outside world. English was survival, it was a way to get and hold a job, it was acceptance. My mom used it more with us kids than my dad. My dad still spoke to us in Spanish. It was ok. English and Spanish.

Sometimes speaking English is seen as a way to be successful in this country, it's seen that way now and it was seen that way a long time ago. It's what you do with it that counts. Retaining your own language is a must, it's a treasure. When my mom and I are alone, she will speak to me in Spanish and I to her. It 's more comfortable that way. I think in Spanish and translate to English. In disciplining my students at work, it's easier in Spanish because I think faster in Spanish. Yes, my own children learned more in English because of their environment whether it was preschool, day care, English-speaking relatives, but had I been more able to teach them in Spanish I would have.

The moral of this long rambling is this: Teach your children Spanish or any other language along with English. They'll be geniuses (like my kids :-)

An Excellent Sacrifice . . .

Today at church the sermon was on the kind of sacrifice God wants from us: He wants an excellent sacrifice -- it is giving the BEST that you can whether it be at work, at home with your family, your spouse, and with your extended family and friends because it is the right thing to do and has nothing to do with your own personal objectives. It is about giving all your BEST to God. The most excellent sacrifice touches the heart of God for generations.

I come away from church with a feeling of "Wow, that was amazing!" My son laughs and says "Mom, you say that every Sunday," and he's right, I do.

After church, we stopped by my mother-in-law's home It was good to see her again. She looks good. My nephew, who lives with her, was there. My nephew- how can I explain him?
I love him, my heart hurts for him because I feel he needs so much guidance and he reaches out for it and I can only do so much. He has protective "parent" who I need to be careful about so I'm careful of the answers I give him. He is older than my oldest son who has been on his own for a couple of years, yet he acts as if he is younger. Too much was done for him when he was young and was not allowed to grow up -- or should I say was not forced to grow up.

When it was time for my oldest son to go -- make his own way -- I told him, "Son, you know how you have lived at home for a while now -- it's like a bird's nest, well Son, I cut off the branch, and you need to fly. Why Mom? Because it's time. I need to let you grow up. You need to go now. And he went. My nephew has never gone and sadly to say, I don't think he will because he doesn't know how to and maybe he doesn't want to know. He has visited my son and likes the life he lives, likes his independence, but he continues to live with grandma. He needs someone to cut his branch, but I don't think they will. I will continue to love him as I always have and continue to listen to him. God bless him and my mother-in-law.

Good news! Our youngest son passed his driver's permit test! Good job!

Hmmm....

Just a thought. . . Our daughter is home after an almost one week conference to Atlanta. We missed her. Our son-in-law really missed her :-). My brother and his family are back from Italy. He loved it and wouldn't mind living out there. His wife has family in Italy. He said life was so simple and slow-paced and kind. The fact that everyone dresses up even to go on the bus was wonderful to him. They plan to return in 3 years. I'm glad he had a good time. My younger brother is feeling better. He sounds better. He said someday he hopes to make connections with the family again. There is hope. Life is too short. I miss my Dad. . . Zach, my mom's dog was bit by a rattlesnake protecting their little chihuahua, Buddy, and they think he will eventually die. They're giving him anti-venom and antibiotics, but he is still not doing well. Poor Zach. And we're fine, thank God. I'm off-track for about three weeks. I'm ready for this break -- need it. Time to sleep in, watch t.v., go shopping, go to the movies, play Monopoly with my youngest son, and cook. Thank you, Lord.

Anger (sigh . . . )

Why do people hold on to anger so much? Don't they realize how much it hurts their spirit?

I talked to my little brother tonight and the anger he feels to past events has gone on too long. I try to tell him how precious life is, to have faith that everything will be alright, to look to the future and leave the past in the past. But, he can't. He is not ready to do that. In the process he has alienated himself and he's ok with this. Alright, he will do what he wants to do. I call it Stubborness! How he reminds me of my father... We never fall far from the tree, do we.

What do you do about a situation like this. I love everyone -- or at least I try to. I can be pretty stubborn myself, but come on -- who does it hurt in the long run--everyone.

I don't know -- I just think life is too short to be angry all the time. It's such a waste. It's so much better to wake up in the morning, thank God for another day and greet everyone with a "Good Morning!" or a "Buenos Dias!" How perfect is that.

I feel for my little brother because he could be so happy if he just allowed himself to be. His therapist said it the best -- Time will heal everything -- and he's right, but my brother is not ready. Again to what I said at the beginning -- Why is he holding on to so much anger? I'm tired and I don't agree with him.

Lots of Blessings!

The weekend is here -- 1st two days of school shelved away. It never fails -- at the beginning of a new school year I miss my last year's students very much and standing before me are children who last week were in kindergarten -- talkative and very active. They miss their kinder teacher (who by the way is a beautiful person with a very kind heart), they want to go to the bathroom (one kid was gone for about 10 minutes -- "Oh yes, Mrs. L, he does that all the time," they miss playing games, blocks, puzzles etc. It was a tiring day to say the least on my first day. But as they prepared to go home, one of my "new" little girls said, "It's only our first day, Mrs. L. -- tomorrow we will be better." I was so touched and thanked her and them for a "wonderful" first day. I know I have the BEST job.

We had a very restful and delicious 4th of July at my daughter and son-in-law's home. The time went so fast. I really enjoyed the peacefulness of their backyard and the way our family was all together. I miss that very much. As I was growing up as a young adult--people would ask me "And what do you want to be when you grow up?" I would reply, "I want to be a mother." That's all I wanted to do -- be a mother--a good mother to my children. We were and still are so blessed with our children and sometimes when they are all together, I tell my husband -- "Listen, just listen to them." We hear their voices, their laughter, their discussions. We are in awe because these are OUR children. We smile and we laugh with them. God has certainly blessed us.

Hey! Before I forget -- I got my vacuum cleaner back today from the shop! I was so excited! I was using a used one and it just wasn't doing the job. Yuck! But ok -- it tried. Every woman needs her very own vacuum cleaner that is dependable beyond words. I'm so glad I have it back. I got to go vacuum now. Yay! It's back!

Here we are again, one day before the 4th of July. I finally finished getting everything ready at work for a new year at school. My daugher says,"Mom, go home!" And she's right -- I need to go home, but beginning a school year unprepared is like going to work with two different shoes on and one of them being a slipper. Can't do it. But I'm ready. Here we go. I met the new teachers -- every year we get new teachers. I have been at my job for 21 years and every year new teachers are hired, old teachers move on or retire. The ones I met today are so nice. Really like them. They're going to fit in just fine. One teacher who's name is "Pat" is probably as old as me and it's her first year teaching. I liked her. As a side note: Our last principal whom I liked very much always hired young blond teachers (I have nothing against blonds, but come on -- brunettes are pretty good, too. :-) When my daughter used to sub at our school, she would say -- "I feel like I'm in a segment of "Children of the Corn." Hmmm.... So needless to say, it's good to see variety again.

My little sister-in-law called me last night and we talked for a good long time. She is feeling dread -- she doesn't know what it means. I don't either. I wish I could help her figure it out, but I can't. I'll wait to see what it is. Interesting how we can get these feelings and why do we? Got to clean now :-) I have neglected my house. I'm so glad our daughter is having the 4th at her house. Ahhhhhhh........